Have you ever tried to negotiate with a 2 year old?

Were you surprised with their negotiation skills?

Well, my son is now almost 2 and half years old and has suddenly learnt that he has a will - a seriously strong will at that. Typical of children his age, he is far more concerned with getting what he wants than with executing his mother or father's wishes.

It seems to me that as children we tend to be assertive rather than accommodating in our interaction with others. We are only interested in meeting our own needs and wants rather than satisfying the needs and desires of those around us.

It is only as we age that we learn the world does not in fact revolve around us and that we have to fit into our environment in a responsible and positive way. We learn that we can not only do as we wish but also have to consider the rights, feelings and desires of others.

This made me think about the 5 fundamental negotiation approaches and how you can deploy them to underpin the achievement of your negotiation targets.

1.Competitive negotiation

This is a style of negotiation that is predominantly assertive and focused on your own needs, wants and targets.

2.Accommodating negotiation

This is a way of negotiation that is predominantly focused on the needs, wants and objectives of your counterparts whilst ignoring your own needs. Sales training courses often support this negotiation approach as the most appropriate strategy.

3.Compromising negotiation

Probably the best known of all negotiation strategies. This is a mode of negotiation where you meet your counterpart in the middle. You get some of your needs, wants and objectives met and you do the same for your counterpart.

4.Collaborative negotiation

This is a mode of negotiation where you try to meet all of the needs, wants and goals of your counterparts and they do the same for you.

5.Avoiding negotiation

This is a way of interaction where you do not regard negotiation as the best way to attain your targets.

The critical factors which will determine which of the above approaches should be in your negotiations is to respond to the following 3 questions:

a.What is the Importance of an ongoing relationship to you?

If the relationship is critical, then you will not be able to be only assertive, you will have to at least compromise with your counterpart. If you do not meet the desires of your counterparts, then it is not likely that a meaningful relationship will develop.

b.How many alternatives are available to you?

If you have a host of alternatives available, you can afford to be more competitive. Conversely, if you have no alternatives, then you will be forced to be more accommodating.

c.How much time do you have available?

If you have a lot of time available, then you can certainly be more competitive. The less time you have, the more accommodating you will have to be.

As you can see, it is important to ask yourself these three questions before you start negotiating so that you can pick the approach most suited to the situation at hand rather than just following a negotiation strategy solely based on your preference.

It is also important to remember that you should be flexible in your approach. You may want to amend your strategy as new information becomes available during your negotiations.