There is 1 central idea, one important factor that is critical to understand.

Get this right and you will be compensated with profitable, enjoyable and long lasting business relationships in which price is not the only element. If you don't have this right, you will struggle with sub optimal business relationships and you will most likely end up haggling about price in probably all of your negotiations.

The key element is comprehending the interests of the other side in your negotiations; this is an important element taught in negotiation training.

Generally we have a good understanding of our own objectives, needs and desires. When we negotiate with others, we usually begin with trying to convince them to see the world the way that we do. We think it makes sense to us, surely it must make sense to our counterparts. The problem with this method is that it completely ignores the objectives, needs and desires of the other side.

What will it achieve trying to convince another person to do anything that they don't believe would be in alignment with their objectives, viewpoints and desires?

You will not under any circumstances persuade anybody to agree with you by disagreeing with them, quite the opposite will happen. Because you tell someone that they are wrong and you are the one that is right, you will compel them to defend their position rather than listen to yours. Nobody likes to be wrong and if you express to them that they are wrong it will become very important for them to defend their position because their personal credibility is at risk.

Not often will you achieve agreement with someone after you have told them that they are wrong, you have also managed to paint yourself into a corner. If it was important for you to reach consensus and you do not manage to win the argument, then you will have to sacrifice your own integrity by departing from your 'correct' stance to adopt the argument of your counterpart.

If you want to reach consensus the easy way rather than have your negotiations spiral into a positional argument, here's my suggestion:

Start by asking some questions, the best of which you can ask will be questions designed to expose the interests behind the positions that the other side have assumed in the negotiation. Open questions are the best kind of questions to show the interest or motivators that support your counterpart's positions.

A good question to can ask and at the same time endorsing your negotiation skills: Why are you negotiating with me / my organisation?

This is very possibly the best question to ask at the start of a negotiation. Follow this question by asking your counterpart to expand on and to prioritise the reasons offered in response to your questions. This will give you a prioritised list of their most important interests.

Sample Interests:
- Individual: Security, Acknowledgment and Control
- Organisation: Profit, Risk Avoidance and Strategic Fit (Some key elements you would have learned in purchasing training)

Once you have an understanding of your counterparts' key interests it is a good idea to reveal your own interests. Once all the parties to the negotiation have disclosed their interests it will be much easier to recognise the areas of common ground and then it is useful to present your argument in the context of how it would serve their interests. This way, you will not have to persuade the other side that your argument is correct; you will only have to show that your suggested course of action would satisfy their interests.